How and Why Self Care For Parents Can Change The World
Hey friends, long time no talk. I have been over here brewing, birthing, and boob feeding a little squishy babe. I have been basking in it, enjoying my postpartum time like a true postpartum doula, and doing everything for myself that I encourage my clients to do. Self Care is not face masks, a shower, and going to the bathroom alone, nor is it a shopping spree, bottle of wine or getting sleep. With this period fresh in my mind - I wanted to talk about what “self care” is during this time, and what it can be, and how to make it happen realistically.
BIRTHING A NEW STANDARD OF CARE AROUND POSTPARTUM
care
/ker/
noun
1.the provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something
I know many of us, in the US, have lost connections to ancient care practices in the process of colonization. This assault on culture has been devastating for generations and generations. I found myself sad that I did not have stories of how to nourish yourself during this time passed down to me. So with that awareness came motivation to help people who were in the same boat, establish their own personal culture of care during the reproductive year. A different spiritual standard.
Spirituality aside, I fully believe there are endless practical benefits to a well nourished post birth period. Happier birthing people, raise happier babies, who turn into happier adults which creates a happier world - and circles back around in an endless rhythm of reciprocity.
And how do we get to this place? This happier place of needs being met for every one, not just infants, not just parents, but all of us. I know this is a challenge. Poverty, disability, and social status are huge barriers to being able to receive the adequate care we need for this idea and standard to become a reality. I cannot shift that truth on my own, though I work hard at it every day in my professional and personal life, what I can do is offer as much insight as I have gained into caring for myself and my clients during the fourth trimester.
The most common road blocks to ones nourishment during this time I hear are:
financial
childcare
support from loved ones
and justification
FIRST - if you do not have a postpartum doula - GET ONE! This is exactly what I teach and give to my clients, and I can see the before and after glow of someone in this nurturing space.
Consider registering for spa certificates, or massage certificates, and adding them on Babylist.com - this website even has a category for this kind of thing.
Buy/thrift/reuse some comfortable options to wear that are quality made and comfy, it is not nurturing to force your body into garments that were not made for this stage of life.
Do not let anyone’s projection or judgement of what you could be doing during this time - distract you from the only things you NEED to be doing. Resting, getting to know your baby, healing, learning, and becoming. This is not a test, it is not martyrdom, you don’t get more parent points for suffering.
Find things that nourish you that genuinely support this process and allow children, lap babies, and infants to be present. You don’t have to be separated from your baby to be nourished. A lot of the times, most of the time, being away from our infants is the opposite of nourishing. Call local care providers and ask if they are kid friendly. Your baby/child should SEE what you giving to yourself looks like, so they can do it for themselves someday, so it becomes second nature, so it feels like home to put yourself as a priority. This is how you actually normalize these ideas. I had an acupuncture appointment today that was so amazing and was able to have my little one nursing the whole time, which nourished both of us in that moment.
This work is in your meals, it is in the fibers on your body, it is in the words that you hear and the words that you speak, it is in where you direct your energy. This is medicine that is a right as a creator of life.
Me with my two month old breastfeeding while getting an acupuncture treatment with Amanda at Tacoma East Asian Medicine. I did these while pregnant so it was really lovely to continue them with her!
Some Tacoma local care providers who I love and are baby friendly:
April Duggins Massage Therapist
253.439.0124
ashteemassage@gmail.com
Amanda Anuraga Tacoma East Asian Medicine
253.254.6498
tacomaeastasianmed.com