Real Birth Stories

Birth is so vast and unpredictable, I am coming to learn in my work as a birth doula.

When I ventured out to do birth work, my idea of doula support was I think off, I think I went out wanting to make birth easier, less painful, less medical.

I do not think that is my function, nor should it be. I think I am shifting my idea and philosophy of support onto what I am actually aiming to do.

To have families leave their birth, more whole than they may have been.

LESS TRAUMATIZED, MORE HEARD, MORE VALUED, MORE SUPPORTED, THAN THEY MAY HAVE BEEN WITHOUT ME THERE.

I am learning that birth is hard no matter what we do in most cases, and it is such a process of surrender, that you cannot look to anyone to save you from it.

It is navigated and carried within you, the baby within your bones is journeying out while you are journeying in. It comes down to a very stark and blunt look at ourselves and our willpower, and our ability to let go and let it be.

Balancing your ability to impact your birth experience and know when to surrender, is a delicate act of wisdom.

This mother I supported, navigated her birth with sensibility, practicality and knowledge. Having an ideal vision in place we created, and enjoying the serenity of laboring at home for over 50 hours with her husband, mother and me providing a soft and secure blanket of support as her body moved with the waves of labor.

Ultimately, she listened to her innate wisdom, which comes from different stores than our practical senses, our knowledge and our plans. Her innate wisdom told her "rest - let them carry you to the next part of this"

So she did.

After increments of rest, movement and work, physical labor, emotional labor, and heavy processing in between those about her mental and physical state, ongoing for about 20 hours, she dug in again and listened to her innate wisdom. Surrendering again to the otherworldly mystique of birth, understanding there is power in asking for what you and your body need, she gifted baby and body with a surgical birth that would hopefully allow them all to meet each other sooner with less trauma on their bodies and minds.

Surgical birth is birth and it can be beautiful. It can also be very hard and shocking, most of the weight is from transitioning last minute to a new reality you did not see for yourself, and again surrendering to what the universe is presenting you with.

This mama met herself, raw and sincere, over and over again in this birth, more than most people do in all their lives, and I have no doubt that the other side is unclear and hazy, but every day she will look back on her courage and bravery through that process and my hopes for her is she will again go inward to herself and innate wisdom and surrender to the universes calling for her, because it has a brilliant plan for them as a family.

I do my best to help my families achieve ideal birth goals but ultimately we are all at the whim of nature, so I think my new take on how I will support such winding roads and experiences is doing my damndest to have them leave more whole than they could have been left. More supported than they could have been left. More connected to themselves than they could have been left. More validated. More present. More understanding.

Just more of the good things, more of the necessities.

That is really all we can guarantee I suppose. I love my work, and I always doubt my abilities after a tough birth, because I just want my families to be whole and at peace, nobody can guarantee that, but I can guarantee that I will remind you every day, every hour, every minute of your strength and ability to make it here, with your gorgeous baby in your arms.

YOU. ARE. BRILLIANT.